Friday, October 31, 2014

Small Towns..

Blessings Farm 
is JUST outside a small SMALL town
and just a few more miles from a 
normal sized "small town"..
I HAVE these variations in "small"
because I am NOT from a small town community.
and I mean ALWAYS
I have dreamed of living in a small town..
I like cities
and I like the country
I have lived in both..
but Mostly I live in a place
that is NEITHER..
it's something in between…
right now..
I am missing 
my small towns..
my small town community…
but I am learning
to be SO thankful for where ever
God places me EACH day
it seems is a lesson that I still need to own.
this summer we had a lot of great days..
but this one in particular
brings back wonderful memories

I adore the murals on the sides of some of these buildings 

I love the blue blue sky
the green of the trees
and the reflection in the windows..
NOT to mention
the shadows

I love the contrast of two OLD buildings
literally smashed next to one another

modern art
woodland art just on the side of a building
jutting out
and needing to be noticed

and VIBRANT colors!
I LOVE our small town COLORS

back alleys
back parking spaces

and the drive BACK to the farm..
it was a great day..
and great days..
deserve to be remembered..
they are precious, and beautiful..
do you have any special days that you remember from this summer?
days that bring YOU comfort
and joy
and make you smile to yourself?

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Tuesday is coming

Tuesday is coming..
and it has me thinking...
there were these great thundering storms this summer
that brought in 
these evenings of color
I love vibrant colors.. 
I hate some of these photos
they are NOT as crisp as they used to be
Moriarty is messing with my EYE

but I enjoyed the nights all the same..
evenings of dramatic sounds and sights..
thunder and light shows...
evenings on the porch
Life's big thoughts
with all my very favorite people..
(were you there?)

these nights brought deep sleeps for me
(I don't sleep well in the "city")
somewhere lately
sleeping and waking
 I feel my heart breaking

from my journal...
October 13
"I don't know if Moriarty is just messing with me.. but
I do believe it's in the place between waking and sleeping, where dreams still drift, wafting and waning...that their memories somehow still live most vibrantly.. because I heard her voice, so bold and clear... and woke up weeping when I realized she wasn't in the room with me.. missing mom today…"
that happens a lot lately..
this vibrant memory thing..
the feeling of mom
or dad
BEING with me
smelling them
or sensing one of them..
hearing them..
in the time in between..
not really knowing in that place in space
who is still HERE and who has gone on …
and my heart breaking
all over again..
and then
I look in the mirror
and say
"suck it up buttercup".

this morning
as I woke up, 
thoughts of my own mortality covered me like a blanket
enveloped me..
almost smothering me
Moriarty is messing with my mind
but MY GOD is so much bigger than
this little tumor in my brain
messing with my sight
messing with my memory
messing with my waking and sleeping

and I am thankful for being alive
lights on
cups of hot tea;
blankets that are knit and comfy
and laughter loud and vibrant…
music and pumpkins carved and glowing..
Tuesday is coming

Naughty Autumn Deliciousness

Autumn Deliciousness
makes my heart go pitter patter...
the Doctor wants me to cut out ALL gluten
and nearly ALL sugar
and I think that is just lovely..
and that I will start probably on November 5th or 6th..
don't tell him.
He might tell Santa
and then the word will be out
about MY being naughty.
who can resist CANDY Apples?

Monday, October 27, 2014

Catching My Eye

I have learned in the past month,
that I have a brain tumor
It's wrapped itself around my optic nerve
and I am having a procedure to hopefully 
kill it..
because the chance of blindness increases
if I choose 
to do nothing..

I have always 
ALWAYS told my children
that doing NOTHING
is doing something
so make sure you CHOSE to do that.

I don't believe we should just LET life happen.
I feel strongly we should EMBRACE life
really LIVE it.
I don't by ANY means think we should try to control it.
But we should by all means OWN it..
it's OUR life
a GIFT from God after all
and we only GET one of them.

we each walk roads…
they take us places…
onward to adventures,
back to home and family and friends…
sometimes we walk trails
or paths
or highways
or meandering country roads..
but life is a journey
and walk on I will
ever following after my Savior...

The procedure I am having is called a "Gamma Knife"
It is a little scary.
but there are scarier procedures..
Buddy asked if I was scared..
when I think of all the things that could happen IF I just..
ignore this..
just do nothing..
it's honestly a LOT scarier..
so I don't know who first said the quote..
but I like it
"You have to WANT IT more than you are AFRAID OF IT"
and that seems to fit here…
I want this treatment
because of what it CAN do
more than I am afraid of it..
I WANT the hope
MORE than I am afraid of this Tumor
I want LIFE
more than I am afraid of all its rawness
all is pain.

I Want to SEE these views again
and again

I want to look out on the beauty of God's Creation
and give thanks
for EVERY thing
the good, the bad
the ugly..
because its LIFE
and LIFE can be raw
and messy
and painfully real

and in it's ruggedness
it's beautiful
and I am thankful.
thankful for the air I breath..
the love of family and friends
who's love
saved me from the sin that is me…
I am SO thankful
and am trying to drink it all in

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Farm Art d/Tour

Near our Farm each Year in the Autumn
is held something called
Farm Art dTour
at the same time as a Fermentation Fest..
It's just FABULOUS
This year
MY FAVORITE spot was this one
the detail of this art work was immense
it fit my imaginings of the Shire

as I often refer to this land

this particular spot made me think of the 
White Witch

and her Winter nightmare land

I could IMAGINE 
her sitting upon this throne

could you?

it is so beautiful

surrounded in mirrors
so icy

so cold looking

even the deer
were stunning

and solid

oh I love the creativity of these people!

really really really
they mean it when they say

Re SEEING and a little SEWING

Years ago, before Oma went to live in Heaven with Jesus
she taught Princess 
How to SEW
when Oma passed away
Princess.. stopped sewing.
Last Year, as a part of her American Heritage Girls troop,
she went to a local sewing shop 
and took a class
and sewed the COOLEST overnight bag EVER..
I am so jealous of it,
I (throat clear) borrow it ..
quite often..
enough confession time..
Princess and I dreamed up a dream 
to DEAL with 
one of my nightmares
I have this laundry HALLWAY
but I have 6 people living here.
FOUR are of the MALE persuasion…
that = a LOT of laundry!
perhaps because of the kind of males they are..
messy, hiking,
gear head
kind of guys

which means I am dreaming
that my SOME day dream home will have a laundry ROOM…
not a laundry closet.
I have done EVERYTHING to organize it..
EVERYTHING to clean it.
I am old enough to know NOW
what I didn't know in my 20's and 30's..

you can change YOU,
but you can't change other people.
They are, who THEY are.
Part of loving them, is studying them, getting to know them,
and preparing a home around them,
that works for them, and you.
NOT forcing them into a box of what YOU think a home should be.
Welcome sewing class
we took some long drapes with a lovely pattern
found matching concept patterned floor mat
a spring rod that extend and fits in showers or spots like this..
it WAS a closet..
but with my new washer dryer set
the doors don't fit..

Princess Measured
and cut
to make THIS!

It's still semi-organized behind there..
but it still looks awful BEHIND there in my opinion..
but now it ALWAYS looks good when I walk by..
I don't feel stressed..
I just have to keep CLOSING the curtains
because messy men
keep OPENING It…
oi vey
try to save them..
and still
they just don't reach for that life preserver do they?
LOVE My guys !
and her beautiful work!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

a fun project for that "other" house

things haven't gone as planned
and our big MOVE didn't happen
as the buyers of our 
home lost their financing…
So after MUCH prayer
we felt led to reconfigure
re SEE 
re DO our house
and make it a home that can work
for a little bit longer
what WAS our family room
is going to become our library
and our dining room

so out came the Armoire and the couch
and construction began

Machine Man prefers to work with METAL
so working with wood
can cause stress...

Suck it up Buttercup…
to which my beloved smiles
he's building me a base

A lovely base for my Library!

yah.. we can tend to over do things

it's not a REAL built in
it's just gonna LOOK built in..

up went in the Ikea Bookshelves

and then..
as you can see we framed in the top with nice trim
and the bottoms!
and added connecting strips that I painted also!

time to start adding books..
The table I had previously painted..

but the chairs needed work..

They are Machine Man's grandma's old dining set.
We inherited this when she passed away..
The seats had some sort of mold on them
and so we discarded those entirely.

each chair got glued and repaired..
pained with Annie Sloan's Chateau Gray
and then
Annie Sloan's Charcoal

the OLD bottoms
got some nice new felt pads


the cool new cushions fabric was found at our local
Joanne's fabric..

it seemed whimsical
Once Upon a Time..

so Princess Jigsawed new boards..
these were thicker than the old ones
and then she sanded.


We chose 2 inch foam pads…
some simple batting
We needed our heavy duty bread knife to cut through that foam.
Spraying the board with

and then attaching the board to the foam to prevent slipping..
a little goes a LONG way with this stuff…
We chose to do it OUTSIDE

then batting,
then the material..
BIG deal to make certain the pattern is facing the way you WANT it to 
so flip it and check
before you start stapling ..

we learned it was important to make 
CERTAIN to have enough 

because waiting around for someone to buy more

everyone here got a turn..
that is a lie.
Buddy didn't get a turn..
neither did Little Man

Cutting the foam was fun
but tricky to get right

biting the lip 
was something we all ended up doing...

careful and steady...

trimming was important
because our bottoms will be seated there for long hours
doing school work.

Princess took the work VERY seriously..

She loved the work

and did a great job!

we couldn't be more thrilled with the lovely new/old
dining room / library chairs