Thursday, December 18, 2014

Hunting Season pt 1

This years hunt
was magical

it took place on new trails
that coated in white fluff

literally a winterwonderland

This year our hunters had
more options
saw more
and seemed more excited..
This year
was a little …

Saturday, November 1, 2014


After a great time at Summer Camp
Princess came home with her Bestie Billie
They had nearly a week to just hang out at the farm..
to go to the beach and do things like 
every teen aged girl would do.

pick up litter off the grounds

dump out the old cans and bottles of beer and soda's they found

leaving the beach CLEAN
and beautiful

and putting everything in the proper recycle container 

I confess…
 I LOVE these girls!
They are SO fun to be around

they are nature girls

it was a nice week for them,
and for ME.
I sure missed my girlie while she was OFF
white water rafting,
working on COPE 
working on her hipline
and getting trained in ATV
not to mention horseback riding

coming back meant hitting some favorite places

and being silly!

it meant being utterly harassed by little brothers

and long chats
because that is what great friends do..
we LOVE Billie
and hope she gets back to the farm soon

Friday, October 31, 2014

Small Towns..

Blessings Farm 
is JUST outside a small SMALL town
and just a few more miles from a 
normal sized "small town"..
I HAVE these variations in "small"
because I am NOT from a small town community.
and I mean ALWAYS
I have dreamed of living in a small town..
I like cities
and I like the country
I have lived in both..
but Mostly I live in a place
that is NEITHER..
it's something in between…
right now..
I am missing 
my small towns..
my small town community…
but I am learning
to be SO thankful for where ever
God places me EACH day
it seems is a lesson that I still need to own.
this summer we had a lot of great days..
but this one in particular
brings back wonderful memories

I adore the murals on the sides of some of these buildings 

I love the blue blue sky
the green of the trees
and the reflection in the windows..
NOT to mention
the shadows

I love the contrast of two OLD buildings
literally smashed next to one another

modern art
woodland art just on the side of a building
jutting out
and needing to be noticed

and VIBRANT colors!
I LOVE our small town COLORS

back alleys
back parking spaces

and the drive BACK to the farm..
it was a great day..
and great days..
deserve to be remembered..
they are precious, and beautiful..
do you have any special days that you remember from this summer?
days that bring YOU comfort
and joy
and make you smile to yourself?

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Tuesday is coming

Tuesday is coming..
and it has me thinking...
there were these great thundering storms this summer
that brought in 
these evenings of color
I love vibrant colors.. 
I hate some of these photos
they are NOT as crisp as they used to be
Moriarty is messing with my EYE

but I enjoyed the nights all the same..
evenings of dramatic sounds and sights..
thunder and light shows...
evenings on the porch
Life's big thoughts
with all my very favorite people..
(were you there?)

these nights brought deep sleeps for me
(I don't sleep well in the "city")
somewhere lately
sleeping and waking
 I feel my heart breaking

from my journal...
October 13
"I don't know if Moriarty is just messing with me.. but
I do believe it's in the place between waking and sleeping, where dreams still drift, wafting and waning...that their memories somehow still live most vibrantly.. because I heard her voice, so bold and clear... and woke up weeping when I realized she wasn't in the room with me.. missing mom today…"
that happens a lot lately..
this vibrant memory thing..
the feeling of mom
or dad
BEING with me
smelling them
or sensing one of them..
hearing them..
in the time in between..
not really knowing in that place in space
who is still HERE and who has gone on …
and my heart breaking
all over again..
and then
I look in the mirror
and say
"suck it up buttercup".

this morning
as I woke up, 
thoughts of my own mortality covered me like a blanket
enveloped me..
almost smothering me
Moriarty is messing with my mind
but MY GOD is so much bigger than
this little tumor in my brain
messing with my sight
messing with my memory
messing with my waking and sleeping

and I am thankful for being alive
lights on
cups of hot tea;
blankets that are knit and comfy
and laughter loud and vibrant…
music and pumpkins carved and glowing..
Tuesday is coming

Naughty Autumn Deliciousness

Autumn Deliciousness
makes my heart go pitter patter...
the Doctor wants me to cut out ALL gluten
and nearly ALL sugar
and I think that is just lovely..
and that I will start probably on November 5th or 6th..
don't tell him.
He might tell Santa
and then the word will be out
about MY being naughty.
who can resist CANDY Apples?

Monday, October 27, 2014

Catching My Eye

I have learned in the past month,
that I have a brain tumor
It's wrapped itself around my optic nerve
and I am having a procedure to hopefully 
kill it..
because the chance of blindness increases
if I choose 
to do nothing..

I have always 
ALWAYS told my children
that doing NOTHING
is doing something
so make sure you CHOSE to do that.

I don't believe we should just LET life happen.
I feel strongly we should EMBRACE life
really LIVE it.
I don't by ANY means think we should try to control it.
But we should by all means OWN it..
it's OUR life
a GIFT from God after all
and we only GET one of them.

we each walk roads…
they take us places…
onward to adventures,
back to home and family and friends…
sometimes we walk trails
or paths
or highways
or meandering country roads..
but life is a journey
and walk on I will
ever following after my Savior...

The procedure I am having is called a "Gamma Knife"
It is a little scary.
but there are scarier procedures..
Buddy asked if I was scared..
when I think of all the things that could happen IF I just..
ignore this..
just do nothing..
it's honestly a LOT scarier..
so I don't know who first said the quote..
but I like it
"You have to WANT IT more than you are AFRAID OF IT"
and that seems to fit here…
I want this treatment
because of what it CAN do
more than I am afraid of it..
I WANT the hope
MORE than I am afraid of this Tumor
I want LIFE
more than I am afraid of all its rawness
all is pain.

I Want to SEE these views again
and again

I want to look out on the beauty of God's Creation
and give thanks
for EVERY thing
the good, the bad
the ugly..
because its LIFE
and LIFE can be raw
and messy
and painfully real

and in it's ruggedness
it's beautiful
and I am thankful.
thankful for the air I breath..
the love of family and friends
who's love
saved me from the sin that is me…
I am SO thankful
and am trying to drink it all in

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Farm Art d/Tour

Near our Farm each Year in the Autumn
is held something called
Farm Art dTour
at the same time as a Fermentation Fest..
It's just FABULOUS
This year
MY FAVORITE spot was this one
the detail of this art work was immense
it fit my imaginings of the Shire

as I often refer to this land

this particular spot made me think of the 
White Witch

and her Winter nightmare land

I could IMAGINE 
her sitting upon this throne

could you?

it is so beautiful

surrounded in mirrors
so icy

so cold looking

even the deer
were stunning

and solid

oh I love the creativity of these people!

really really really
they mean it when they say