restoration

When you become an orphan...

and you aren't a "child" anymore..

there is just OOOOooooodles to do

and it's NOT all fun and games.

aside from the waves of basic grief...

the daily attempt to survive the loss of someone as

 hopefilled

joyfilled

knowledge filled

love filled

as our Opa was to us...

There is this OTHER stuff that has to happen

when you lose parent.. 

& I suppose it's the same if you lose spouse

only hard on totally different levels..

the "OTHER" stuff is just the same

it's yucky..

that "OTHER" stuff.

There are all these very important people you have too meet with

all these important people you have to call

all these important things that NEED doing

all these things you OUGHT to know

and must not forget,

and 

you just are so CERTAIN you will miss

 "something"  very  IMPORTANTT

in the 

midst of the tears..

thus

I am not at Blessings Farm today

but the birds are singing 

outside my window just the same...

the garbage man has come and gone..

and

life goes on in total disregard to my grief

and it's calling to me

and soon..

I will wrap things up "here" and go home

to Blessings Farm.

I have NEVER yet seen it in the spring...

and I am eager to photograph it

to dig in the earth

and discover

I am eager to move those lovely snow ball bushes

BEFORE

they get bigger than me

I am eager to weed around and watch these grow

 

and figure out if we can harness the passion to grow EVERY silly place

that these Yummies have to grow..

I am eager to attack this field with a brush hog..

and see my barn

eager to attack the Last of the floors and be Nail & Staple free

officially!

eager to really decide WHAT to do about the gaps..

eager to see the water tables in spring

and see what things come

eager to discover hidden beauty

eager to watch a forest

once tenderly cared for,

 blossom once again

eager for sunshine

and shade

eager to feel LIFE bursting forth

and to see the smiles long lost now...

return to the Blessings faces

thrilled that, although MUCH delayed

perhaps in the return we can hook up the stove

and we can bake

and cook

and have fun in the culinary arts

perhaps we can finish the kitchen

and get to the pantry!

eager to finish the wall

we only need to 

rip apart,

sand

and cut those pallets

oh and...

and slap those suckers up......

oh.. and

then paint them..

but hey..

what's a few days work?

eager to find a spot to use these

eager to see my friendly neighbors

and hear their chipper song

and be cheered

and breath

and grieve..

eager to let the healing begin

the restoration 

of hearts

of minds

of a home

a farm

of a family

begin

.....

you coming?