Small Towns..

Blessings Farm 

is JUST outside a small SMALL town

and just a few more miles from a 

normal sized "small town"..

I HAVE these variations in "small"

because I am NOT from a small town community.

always 

and I mean ALWAYS

I have dreamed of living in a small town..

I like cities

and I like the country

I have lived in both..

but Mostly I live in a place

that is NEITHER..

it's something in between…

right now..

I am missing 

my small towns..

my small town community…

but I am learning

to be SO thankful for where ever

God places me EACH day

contentment

it seems is a lesson that I still need to own.

this summer we had a lot of great days..

but this one in particular

brings back wonderful memories

I adore the murals on the sides of some of these buildings 

I love the blue blue sky

the green of the trees

and the reflection in the windows..

NOT to mention

the shadows

I love the contrast of two OLD buildings

literally smashed next to one another

modern art

woodland art just on the side of a building

jutting out

and needing to be noticed

and VIBRANT colors!

I LOVE our small town COLORS

back alleys

back parking spaces

and the drive BACK to the farm..

it was a great day..

and great days..

deserve to be remembered..

cherished.

they are precious, and beautiful..

do you have any special days that you remember from this summer?

days that bring YOU comfort

and joy

and make you smile to yourself?

Tuesday is coming

Tuesday is coming..

and it has me thinking...

there were these great thundering storms this summer

that brought in 

these evenings of color

I love vibrant colors.. 

I hate some of these photos

they are NOT as crisp as they used to be

Moriarty is messing with my EYE

but I enjoyed the nights all the same..

evenings of dramatic sounds and sights..

thunder and light shows...

evenings on the porch

reminiscing 

thinking 

pondering

discussing

Life's big thoughts

with all my very favorite people..

(were you there?)

these nights brought deep sleeps for me

(I don't sleep well in the "city")

and 

somewhere lately

someplace 

between 

sleeping and waking

 I feel my heart breaking

from my journal...

October 13

"I don't know if Moriarty is just messing with me.. but

I do believe it's in the place between waking and sleeping, where dreams still drift, wafting and waning...that their memories somehow still live most vibrantly.. because I heard her voice, so bold and clear... and woke up weeping when I realized she wasn't in the room with me.. missing mom today…"

that happens a lot lately..

this vibrant memory thing..

the feeling of mom

or dad

BEING with me

smelling them

or sensing one of them..

hearing them..

in the time in between..

not really knowing in that place in space

who is still HERE and who has gone on …

waking

and my heart breaking

all over again..

and then

I look in the mirror

and say

"suck it up buttercup".

this morning

as I woke up, 

thoughts of my own mortality covered me like a blanket

enveloped me..

almost smothering me

Moriarty is messing with my mind

but MY GOD is so much bigger than

this little tumor in my brain

messing with my sight

messing with my memory

messing with my waking and sleeping

and I am thankful for being alive

and

HOME

with

lights on

cups of hot tea;

blankets that are knit and comfy

and laughter loud and vibrant…

music and pumpkins carved and glowing..

Tuesday is coming

Naughty Autumn Deliciousness

Autumn Deliciousness

makes my heart go pitter patter...

the Doctor wants me to cut out ALL gluten

and nearly ALL sugar

and I think that is just lovely..

and that I will start probably on November 5th or 6th..

but..

don't tell him.

He might tell Santa

and then the word will be out

about MY being naughty.

Seriously

who can resist CANDY Apples?

Catching My Eye

I have learned in the past month,

that I have a brain tumor

It's wrapped itself around my optic nerve

and I am having a procedure to hopefully 

kill it..

because the chance of blindness increases

if I choose 

to do nothing..

I have always 

ALWAYS told my children

that doing NOTHING

is doing something

so make sure you CHOSE to do that.

I don't believe we should just LET life happen.

I feel strongly we should EMBRACE life

really LIVE it.

I don't by ANY means think we should try to control it.

But we should by all means OWN it..

it's OUR life

a GIFT from God after all

and we only GET one of them.

we each walk roads…

they take us places…

onward to adventures,

back to home and family and friends…

sometimes we walk trails

or paths

or highways

or meandering country roads..

but life is a journey

and walk on I will

ever following after my Savior...

The procedure I am having is called a "Gamma Knife"

It is a little scary.

but there are scarier procedures..

Buddy asked if I was scared..

when I think of all the things that could happen IF I just..

ignore this..

just do nothing..

it's honestly a LOT scarier..

so I don't know who first said the quote..

but I like it

"You have to WANT IT more than you are AFRAID OF IT"

and that seems to fit here…

I want this treatment

because of what it CAN do

more than I am afraid of it..

I WANT the hope

MORE than I am afraid of this Tumor

I want LIFE

more than I am afraid of all its rawness

all is pain.

I Want to SEE these views again

and again

I want to look out on the beauty of God's Creation

and give thanks

for EVERY thing

the good, the bad

the ugly..

because its LIFE

and LIFE can be raw

and messy

and painfully real

and in it's ruggedness

it's beautiful

and I am thankful.

thankful for the air I breath..

the love of family and friends

and of CHRIST JESUS

who's love

saved me from the sin that is me…

I am SO thankful

and am trying to drink it all in

Farm Art d/Tour

Near our Farm each Year in the Autumn

is held something called

Farm Art dTour

at the same time as a Fermentation Fest..

It's just FABULOUS

This year

MY FAVORITE spot was this one

the detail of this art work was immense

it fit my imaginings of the Shire

or NARNIA

as I often refer to this land

this particular spot made me think of the 

White Witch

and her Winter nightmare land

I could IMAGINE 

her sitting upon this throne

could you?

it is so beautiful

surrounded in mirrors

so icy

so cold looking

even the deer

were stunning

and solid

oh I love the creativity of these people!

BRAVO!

just..

really really really

they mean it when they say

DO NOT TOUCH

ha!

Re SEEING and a little SEWING

Years ago, before Oma went to live in Heaven with Jesus

she taught Princess 

How to SEW

when Oma passed away

Princess.. stopped sewing.

Last Year, as a part of her American Heritage Girls troop,

she went to a local sewing shop 

and took a class

and sewed the COOLEST overnight bag EVER..

I am so jealous of it,

I (throat clear) borrow it ..

quite often..

BUT!!!!

enough confession time..

Princess and I dreamed up a dream 

to DEAL with 

one of my nightmares

I have this laundry HALLWAY

but I have 6 people living here.

FOUR are of the MALE persuasion…

that = a LOT of laundry!

perhaps because of the kind of males they are..

messy, hiking,

gear head

hunting

diy

kind of guys

which means I am dreaming

that my SOME day dream home will have a laundry ROOM…

not a laundry closet.

I have done EVERYTHING to organize it..

EVERYTHING to clean it.

DE CLUTTER IT

but

I am old enough to know NOW

what I didn't know in my 20's and 30's..

IT IS

WHAT IT IS

you can change YOU,

but you can't change other people.

They are, who THEY are.

Part of loving them, is studying them, getting to know them,

and preparing a home around them,

that works for them, and you.

NOT forcing them into a box of what YOU think a home should be.

SO

Welcome sewing class

we took some long drapes with a lovely pattern

found matching concept patterned floor mat

and 

a spring rod that extend and fits in showers or spots like this..

it WAS a closet..

but with my new washer dryer set

the doors don't fit..

Princess Measured

and cut

to make THIS!

Tadah!

It's still semi-organized behind there..

but it still looks awful BEHIND there in my opinion..

but now it ALWAYS looks good when I walk by..

I don't feel stressed..

I just have to keep CLOSING the curtains

because messy men

boys

keep OPENING It…

oi vey

try to save them..

and still

they just don't reach for that life preserver do they?

LOVE My guys !

and 

LOVE

LOVE 

LOVE 

my 

Princess

and her beautiful work!

a fun project for that "other" house

So. 

things haven't gone as planned

and our big MOVE didn't happen

as the buyers of our 

home lost their financing…

So after MUCH prayer

we felt led to reconfigure

repurpose

re LOOK

re SEE 

re DO our house

and make it a home that can work

for a little bit longer

what WAS our family room

is going to become our library

and our dining room

so out came the Armoire and the couch

and construction began

Machine Man prefers to work with METAL

so working with wood

can cause stress...

Suck it up Buttercup…

to which my beloved smiles

he's building me a base

A lovely base for my Library!

yah.. we can tend to over do things

it's not a REAL built in

it's just gonna LOOK built in..

up went in the Ikea Bookshelves

and then..

as you can see we framed in the top with nice trim

and the bottoms!

and added connecting strips that I painted also!

time to start adding books..

The table I had previously painted..

but the chairs needed work..

They are Machine Man's grandma's old dining set.

We inherited this when she passed away..

The seats had some sort of mold on them

and so we discarded those entirely.

each chair got glued and repaired..

pained with Annie Sloan's Chateau Gray

and then

Annie Sloan's Charcoal

the OLD bottoms

got some nice new felt pads

pop!

the cool new cushions fabric was found at our local

Joanne's fabric..

it seemed whimsical

magical

very

Once Upon a Time..

so Princess Jigsawed new boards..

these were thicker than the old ones

and then she sanded.

Bravo!

We chose 2 inch foam pads…

some simple batting

We needed our heavy duty bread knife to cut through that foam.

Spraying the board with

and then attaching the board to the foam to prevent slipping..

a little goes a LONG way with this stuff…

We chose to do it OUTSIDE

then batting,

then the material..

BIG deal to make certain the pattern is facing the way you WANT it to 

so flip it and check

before you start stapling ..

we learned it was important to make 

CERTAIN to have enough 

staples

because waiting around for someone to buy more

is BORING

everyone here got a turn..

ok.

that is a lie.

Buddy didn't get a turn..

neither did Little Man

Cutting the foam was fun

but tricky to get right

biting the lip 

was something we all ended up doing...

careful and steady...

trimming was important

because our bottoms will be seated there for long hours

doing school work.

Princess took the work VERY seriously..

She loved the work

and did a great job!

we couldn't be more thrilled with the lovely new/old

dining room / library chairs